


The Importance of Choice

by KR21



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Nightmares, non graphic mention of the winter soldier assassinating a family, typical winter soldier issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-07
Updated: 2015-08-07
Packaged: 2018-04-13 12:02:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4521204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KR21/pseuds/KR21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One of the many things that Bucky loves about Clint is that he understands the importance of choice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Importance of Choice

The woman is smiling. She’s moving around the kitchen, there is something on the stove that she keeps turning to check. He just needs a second, a moment of stillness. He’s patient, he’s knows the moment will come soon. His perch affords him an excellent view into the apartment. She turns as if she hears something, a boy walks into the room. The directive is everyone on the premises. She’s still, he pulls the trigger…and then he pulls it again.

______________  
Bucky’s out of the bed before the sound of his scream has stopped echoing around the room. Clint jerks awake next to him and scans the room quickly before his eyes land on Bucky. He doesn’t make a move to come closer though Bucky can tell he wants to. He makes use of the moment by drawing in a shaking breath. He looks around the room, checking the door and windows before his eyes land back on Clint. 

Taking his cue Clint starts the now familiar litany. “You are Bucky Barnes. You are in Avengers Tower. You are safe. You are with friends. You aren’t the Winter Soldier anymore. You are safe.” Clint takes several deep breathes and Bucky watches his chest rise and fall trying to match his breathing to the steady rhythm. He feels the tension starting to drain out of his shoulders. He’s cold, the sheen of sweat from the nightmare drying on his skin. Clint is still sitting quietly watching him though Bucky can see that he desperately wants to come closer by the way his hands keep fiddling with the sheets. He smiles slightly as he crawls back into bed and pulls Clint into his arms.

“You are an archer and have gone on multiple missions as the designated sniper, I know for a fact you can sit still” he says, burying his nose in Clint’s hair.

“I can, just don’t like to when it’s not necessary” Clint shrugs tightening his grip on Bucky’s torso as if afraid Bucky will pull away.

He doesn’t loosen his hold, he’s still feeling shaky and it feels too good to have Clint in his arms, though he can’t help the sigh that escapes his lips. It’s a familiar fight.

“It is necessary. I can’t talk about this again, I won’t hurt you” he says, his mind unwillingly flashing back to that night.

It had been one of Bucky’s first missions back in the field and they’d been holed up in a motel outside of Philadelphia running surveillance on a suspected Hydra cell. They’d only been together a few weeks and though Clint had been present for Bucky’s flashbacks before he’d never been seen one of his nightmares. It had been a bad one, Clint said he’d been thrashing around and shouting or he wouldn’t have tried to wake him in the first place. Bucky had come back to himself with his hands wrapped around Clint’s throat. Clint hadn’t been mad, had brushed of Bucky’s apology and while he appreciated the understanding it made him feel sick. What kind of a man was he if the person he was with needed to be understanding about almost having his neck broken? It was six weeks before Bucky was willing to sleep in the same bed again.

“You won’t hurt me Buck,” Clint says quietly “you recognize me faster than anyone else when you’re having an episode.”

“I still can’t risk you, please stop asking me to.” Bucky shifts slightly so that he can see Clint’s face.

Clint rolls his eyes as he drops his head back down onto Bucky’s chest. “Fine…..we weren’t even in the Tower, if something like that happened again JARVIS would have Steve breaking down the door within 60 seconds!” he mumbles because he always has to have the last word.

“I can do a lot in under a minute” Bucky murmurs running his metal fingers through Clint’s sleep rumpled hair.

“Do you want to talk about?” Clint asks. Silence stretches as Clint waits for him to answer, Bucky continues to stroke his hair. He doesn’t really want to talk about. It’s just another memory, probably one of hundreds that are still circling around in his brain waiting for him to recall. It was his past, but it was a past he didn’t really remember, a past he felt no connection to. He felt guilty, he hated what he’d done but it was a sort of abstract guilt. He might remember the action, pulling the trigger, but there were never any emotions in the memories. He’s not sure if that’s because the soldier just didn’t feel, if Hydra had taken that away too when they’d wiped him, or if the feelings just didn’t translate through the dreams. Shaking his head he thinks instead about the question itself.

“You always ask, if I want to talk about it.”

“Of course I ask you idiot” Clint says some combination of fond and exasperated. “Every person in this Tower has things they’d rather not talk about. I’m not gonna force you to open up if you don’t want to.”

“You know, you’re not nearly as stupid as you pretend to be” Bucky says with a smile “I think you’re just hoping that if you let me off the hook I won’t bother you when you’re the one with the nightmares.” 

“That would be pretty smart of me” Clint acknowledges and though Bucky can’t see his face he can feel the other man smiling against his chest. Clint’s cheek is resting on the junction of his shoulder where skin meets metal and Bucky is struck by the fact that Clint never seems to notice the difference between his arms.

“When I was first back” Bucky says, smile dropping off his face as he remembers, “everyone wanted to know everything…every flashback, every nightmare. They wanted details…Shield, the therapists, even Steve, and I get it. I knew they were just worried about me, well…Steve was worried about me…Shield and the doctors were afraid I was going to shake some hidden programming loose and go on a murderous rampage. But there wasn’t ever a choice…and you always give me one.”

Clint shrugs and Bucky is expecting him to brush it off because that’s what Clint usually does when he’s being serious, instead Clint sits up so that they’re sitting next to each other. “After Loki,” he pauses and takes a deep breath, “after everything, not having a choice, not being in control…he was in my head for three days, they had you for…you should always be able to choose. Especially about this.” 

Clint is staring straight ahead and deliberately not looking at Bucky and Bucky is struck as he often is in the quiet moments together by just how strong Clint is, and by how lucky he is that despite who he is and everything he’s done he is somehow someone who Clint is willing to let in. Gently cupping Clint’s chin in his hand and turning his face towards him he lowers his mouth to Clint’s lips in a soft kiss. “Thank you” he says when their lips part.

Clint looks at him for a moment and smiles the soft private smile that Bucky hasn’t seen him use with anyone else before his lips quirk slightly to the side and his eyes turn playful. He pulls Bucky’s lips back down and uses his tongue to deepen the kiss, shifting so that he’s straddling Bucky’s legs “I can think of a few ways to thank me….”

**Author's Note:**

> I've been reading Avengers fanfic for years now and finally decided to bite the bullet and post something of my own. Thanks for reading!


End file.
